Courage or Cowardice? (Reflecting on the lessons of Dr. Martin Luther King, Jr.)

Martin Luther King Junior Day felt different this year.  We started the day by watching his “I Have a Dream” speech and ended the day watching the movie “Hidden Figures” with the kids.  They are just starting to understand the cruelty that humans are capable of, and it makes me sad that we have to teach them such terrible truths.  But we teach them so that we can learn from history and not repeat mistakes.  “Those who don’t know history are doomed to repeat it.” (Edmund Burke)

This year, when I saw all the MLK quotes online, I was inspired, but also convicted.  Maybe because Keith and I had some challenging conversations over the weekend.  I’m grateful to be married to a man who will challenge me and whom I can challenge.  We don’t always agree and that is good because I think it helps bring balance and perspective.

This conversation started over a comment on Facebook.  I refrain from dissenting comments most of the time now, but on occasion, particularly if it’s a person I care for, I will put myself out there.  But I always try to understand the person’s intention (people generally believe they are doing the right thing) and acknowledge the good in what they are trying to convey while still expressing my own disagreement.  It’s a tough balance sometimes.

I was encouraged when the person sent me a private message to thank me for disagreeing in a generous way and understanding the intention behind the words.  This made me happy because the whole idea is to create dialogue and empathy and to help us understand each other.  But Keith felt like my approach was capitulation (or could be interpreted as such).  He believes we should be willing to listen, but if we remain silent about what we believe, then it can be interpreted as agreement.  I thought my opinion was implied and he felt like I should have made it clear.  We had a good debate about it and I felt fine until I read MLK’s “Letter from a Birmingham Jail” and started to wonder if he was right.

“I must confess that over the past few years I have been gravely disappointed with the white moderate. . . Shallow understanding from people of good will is more frustrating than absolute misunderstanding from people of ill will. Lukewarm acceptance is much more bewildering than outright rejection.”  (Letter from a Birmingham Jail, Martin Luther King)

His words forced me to ask myself if I’m am compromising my convictions and my faith by listening to opposing arguments.  Am I lending legitimacy to these ideas just by giving them a voice?  Am I emboldening hatred by trying to understand it?  If I do not assert a clear opinion, am I essentially agreeing?

My intention is not to be neutral, but is common ground neutral ground?  Is common ground cowardly or courageous?

My gut still tells me that trying to silence people or ignore them will only make the voices louder and angrier.  We are all called to different tasks (so I have no question that Keith’s convictions are the right path for him), and maybe because of my sinful pride and my loud mouth, God continues to push me toward listening to others.  In the same letter from a Birmingham jail, King spoke of standing between two forces (of complacency and violence) to show a more excellent way.  Richard Rohr would call that the “third way” which is a rejection of dualism – it’s not either/or, it’s both/and.

So even though it’s the muddiest, least clear path, I still feel compelled to reject an either/or approach.  This doesn’t mean that I don’t have clear opinions about things (Lord knows, I’m always willing to give my opinion – I even try, to no avail, to “advise” God – ha!), but it does mean staying open and not becoming so entrenched in my own ideas that I treat people as if their voices do not matter.

My biggest struggle is trying not to treat people like “the other” or the enemy.  Yes, I’m saddened and angry when I see people treating immigrants, people of other races, religions, ethnicities, sexual orientation, etc. as “the other” . . . as if their lives are not as valuable, as if they are not loved and cherished by God.  And yet, God is continually putting before me that if I hate those who hate, I become just like them.  If I stop listening to those whose message I dislike, I become just as rigid and close-minded.

It is a constant struggle.

I have a lot of people in my life whom I love dearly that I cannot agree with on many things. I struggle with those who claim faith in God, love for country and humanity and yet support (or remain silent about) cruel policies. Of course, many of them think the same thing about me.  How can I proclaim faith in God and “tolerate” what they consider sinful?  It’s incredible that otherwise reasonable people can look at the same set of facts (well, “facts” are often in question, which is another problem) and see something completely differently.

But in my desire to stay connected, Keith feels that I can sometimes be too tolerant of things that should be directly confronted.  I love his passion and his willingness to stand up for what is right, even if it means making people mad.  His heart for truth and justice outweighs niceties.

But we are different people.  I am not afraid of controversy or confrontation (I’m the daughter of Dale Riddle, after all – he taught me how to embrace that tension and meet it head on).  I am not afraid to stand alone.

But I am afraid of my own ego.  I am deeply afraid of my uncanny ability to justify my actions.

It’s not about making others uncomfortable.  It’s about embracing the things that make ME uncomfortable and not getting entrenched in my own ideas.  It’s about being loving instead of being “right.”  It’s about clinging to God’s love and holding everything else loosely.

So, Is common ground neutral ground?  I don’t think so.  I think common ground is that place where you are willing to be vulnerable, and come out of your bunker, and take the risk of being connected.  And it means someone is meeting you there and coming out of their safe bunker of certainty as well.  Maybe no one will change their mind, but if we treat one another with dignity and we are reminded of our shared humanity, I hold on to the hope that good things can happen.

Courage or cowardice? I suppose it depends on the person and their motivation. Sometimes small acts require great courage, and sometimes grand gestures are evasive and cowardly. For one person, it might take courage to speak up; for another, it might take courage to listen.

I pray that I can live with the courage and conscience that Dr. Martin Luther King, Jr. described:
“Courage is an inner resolution to go forward despite obstacles;
Cowardice is submissive surrender to circumstances.
Courage breeds creativity; Cowardice represses fear and is mastered by it.
Cowardice asks the question, is it safe?
Expediency ask the question, is it politic?
Vanity asks the question, is it popular?
But conscience asks the question, is it right? And there comes a time when we must take a position that is neither safe, nor politic, nor popular, but one must take it because it is right.”
(Speech, 1967; in Autobiography of Martin Luther King Jr.)

Follow

share via email

Share