The Episcopal Church and Elastic Waist Pants

As I get older, I feel like I’m always on a quest for comfort.  My jeans need to have some “stretch,” my shoes need to have “support,” and my lounging clothes need to be “cozy” (and by lounging clothes I mean . . . all my clothes).  There was a time in my past when I would try to marry fashion and function, but I am leaning ever closer to choosing “function” every time.

The beauty of getting older is that you stop giving a crap about stuff that doesn’t matter.  Young people don’t get this (but old people don’t care – I can now speak from experience).

Recently, I was on a quest for some jean capris to wear on our trip to California (cause, let’s face it, my legs haven’t seen the sun for at least seven months, so I’m not eager to put on shorts.  I feel like I should be wearing a t-shirt that says, “I’m sorry if I am blinding you with my skin – I live in Massachusetts.”).  I ordered and sent back countless packages, and then exhausted myself in stores trying on a gazillion pants.  Just as I was getting ready to give up, (cue up angel music!), I found some jean capris at Kohls!  BUT they are suspiciously close to maternity pants because they have a stretchy waistband (those annoying zippers and buttons. . . so confining!).  I was not sure how to feel about this, but I was mostly happy.

I promptly sent my friend a text to tell her about my awesome old lady, I mean elastic waist, jean capris.  I wrote, “I am both thrilled and mortified at the same time, if that’s possible.”

Both thrilled and mortified . . . funny, how such conflicting emotions can exist simultaneously.

Maybe you have not experienced these emotions over a descent (or ascent – depends on how you look at it) into stretchy clothes.  But you probably experienced them when you put your child on the bus the first day of Kindergarten – both happy and sad to see your baby growing up.  Or maybe your emotions clashed on some milestone birthday (for me it was 40) – both grateful for another year, but also a bit sad and shocked at how quickly life is passing by.  When you think about it, many moments in life require that we balance conflicting emotions.

In a weird twist that could only happen in a warped mind like mine, my elastic waist pants got me thinking about the Episcopal Church.

First, a little background:  The Lord began to “nudge” us last year that He had a new direction for us.  We resisted it for a long time because we have been at the same church for a decade – we helped build the church (literally and figuratively), and we have seen it go from a fledgling church meeting in a school auditorium to a thriving church with two services doing great things in the community and around the world.  We love our church family and it took months of prayer (ahem . . . arguing with God) to realize that He was serious about leading us out of our comfort zone into something new.

I never could have imagined how far out of the comfort zone God was going to take us.

If God really has a plan for my life, I’m convinced that it is mostly just to make me eat my words.  This has happened to me over and over, in every aspect of my life, but let’s just take the church as a specific example:

• I said I would never be part of a “mega church” because it was too impersonal, but we ended up joining a mega church in St. Louis and I absolutely loved it.
• I said I would never be Southern Baptist again because they are generally too theologically conservative for me, but God led us to a Southern Baptist church here in Massachusetts and I absolutely loved it.
• I said I would never be part of a church with “formal worship” because I’m really a “low church” kind of girl – I don’t get into all the rituals — but God led us to the Episcopal Church, and I absolutely love it.

Our foray into the Episcopal Church feels a lot like my reaction over the elastic waist pants . . . I’m both thrilled and mortified at the same time.  I’m happy to find something so comfortable, but it’s not what I would have considered “me.”

Seriously, can you imagine this loud, crass girl in the Episcopal Church?  The idea still makes me laugh.  God is full of surprises, but He has granted us so much peace and affirmation, there is no denying that this is where He wants us right now.

I grew up in the Bible belt, but I didn’t have any exposure to denominations with “formal” worship.  And, until I moved to New England, I thought that anyone who participated in formal worship was Catholic or “Catholic lite.”  I was wrong about that.  Theologically, Episcopalians and Lutherans and Congregationalists (etc.) are not “high church.”  They are more “broad church” and incredibly inclusive and Bible based.  This marriage of freedom and inclusiveness with time-honored traditions is new for me, so I am learning a lot.

I’m easy to spot at the Episcopal church – I’m the Southern girl fumbling around who:

• doesn’t know the hymns
• is unfamiliar with The Book of Common Prayer
• doesn’t know the “lingo” (meet in the Narthex?  Okay . . . where is that? I vaguely remember reading that term in Pillars of the Earth, but no idea.)
• can never imagine making the sign of the cross
• has never used a kneeler or gone forward to take communion (aka Holy Eucharist – another lingo thing)
• still says “Good morning” instead of “peace” when it’s time to greet each other
• favors a loud bass and drums to an organ, and a hand-clapping worship leader to a robed choir (But I’m planning to join, if the choir will have me.  My husband will probably be hysterically laughing when he sees me in a choir robe – a live version of the game “who doesn’t belong in this picture?”)

Regardless of all that, I’m experiencing so many unexpected blessings that I wouldn’t have known if we had not been willing to follow God somewhere new.  I am moved to tears by things that surprise me; I am learning to worship in new ways; I am learning that living your faith doesn’t always have to be “out-loud” – sometimes faith is loudest in quiet service to others.  The Episcopalians are teaching me a lot.

And I have to add that we have a female associate pastor (a Lutheran) who can bring it! (Our Senior Pastor, or Rector (another lingo thing), is awesome too – He’s a US Navy Nuclear Submarine Officer turned Episcopal preacher.  Come on, that’s cool.)  I always believed in women in ministry, but have never belonged to a denomination that allowed it, so hearing a woman rock it from the pulpit has brought me more joy than I can express in words!  Every time she preaches (or gives a “homily” – yet another new vocabulary word for me) I just want to shout some hardy “Amens”  or maybe “Go girl!” with some old school Arsenio Hall dog barks and fist pumps . . . but I don’t want to scare my new friends, so instead I just cry a lot.

So . . . it’s not where I expected God to lead us, and the things that are important to us about church today are different than the things that were important to us many years ago.  I like to think that as we “grow up” in the Lord, we are able to see beauty in things we previously overlooked, and we are gradually “stripping off”* the things that don’t matter, and focusing more intently on God and what He would have us do.

I am beginning to see that my elastic waist pants . . . and our new church . . . are more “me” than I care to admit.

I just had to humble myself enough to try them on.

*“Therefore, since we are surrounded by such a huge crowd of witnesses to the life of faith, let us strip off every weight that slows us down, especially sin that so easily trips us up.  And let us run with endurance the race God has set before us.  We do this by keeping our eyes on Jesus, the champion who initiates and perfects our faith.”  Hebrews 12:1-2

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