Top 20 Disturbing, Strange and Funny Southern Phrases (that I can recall)

(Okay, this one is just for fun and will be a big deviation from the things I usually write about.  We were visiting my family in North Carolina for Thanksgiving, so I guess it put me in a redneck state of mind.  So this post doesn’t really “fit” the blog, but it’s fun to venture out in left field every once in awhile.)

My husband, Keith, is always making fun of me for my “Southern sayings” so I decided to make a list of some of the strangest that I can remember.  Honestly, I don’t know if these are widely used or if they were common only in Surry County, North Carolina, but I only listed phrases that I have actually heard people say (you can’t make up stuff this crazy).  Keith has learned through the years that “plumb” is an adjective (example:  “it’s plumb foggy outside” — similar to how New Englanders use “wicked”), “fixin’ to” means getting ready to do something, and “bless her heart” can range from sincere to condescending.  But I will definitely be “showin’ my raising” with the following list.

For my Southern friends, this might be a trip down memory lane.  For the rest of my friends around the country, this might be weird and disturbing.  But here goes (some might require translation/explanation):

  1.  Dry as last year’s bird’s nest

  2.  I wouldn’t trust him in a meat house with a muzzle on

  3.  Suckin’ hind tit (this is a reference to the runt of a litter who is last, so it means late, lacking, behind)

  4.  I could eat the hind end out of a rag doll (means very hungry – my Mom used to say this – thought it was so weird)

  5.  I could eat the Southbound end of a Northbound mule (hungry enough to eat a mule’s rear end)

  6.  That will break him from suckin’ eggs (something traumatic that changes a bad habit.  Apparently, on the farm, if a dog started sucking eggs, it was nearly impossible to break him of the habit.)

  7.  Bigger than a skinned mule (but you have to say it “bigger n’ a skint mule;” means very fat)

  8.  Diggin’ his grave with his teeth (Describes someone who can’t stop eating.  I looked this up and apparently, it’s an old proverb, but I used to hear my Grandpa Riddle say it.)

  9.  Stemmin’ his fodder (someone who is old, worn out – it’s a reference to a mule that is old and can no longer chew the stem of a corn stalk/fodder)

10.  Full as a tick (so stuffed, you’re about to explode)

11.  That would make a banty rooster flog a freight train (it would make someone go far beyond their normal capabilities)

12.  Tougher than a pine knot (impossible/difficult; also heard this phrase to describe a beautiful woman)

13.  Rode hard and put up wet (someone who has been through a hard time/hasn’t been cared for.  Refers to a horse that is ridden hard but is not dried or brushed before being put in the barn/stall)

14.  Built like a brick shithouse (used to describe a beautiful woman; something extravagant and rare)

15.  HTR (stands for Hen Turd Remover – used to describe a rain that is hard enough to wash all the hen turds out of the yard)

16.  Madder than a wet settin’ hen (means really mad.  My Dad said it was hard to get a hen off a nest to get the eggs, so people used to douse them with water, which made the hens really mad)

17.  Slick as a mole’s butt (slippery)

18.  Like putting a fox in a henhouse (an easy target, place where a criminal/womanizer/bad person could take advantage of a situation)

19.  Make a little dog break a big chain (irresistable)

20.  Make a hound dog hug a possum (so happy you love everybody, even your enemies)

Have any strange gems to add to the list?